Arts & Entertainment

April 27, 2011

Glee 218: Gaga for Gay, I mean Glee (Born This Way)

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Written by: Erika
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glee

I was about to call it quits after last week’s absolute plot line FAIL, in addition to the shows failure to actually deliver the homolesbiangayness to which they had been building. Well, this week, Glee redeemed itself with lots and lots of gay. Well, they tried to sell it as a “self-love” and “acceptance” show, but really, what they meant was GAY, GAY, GAY. They even called Gaga the Queen of Self-Love, but what they meant was Queen of Gay. Amiright or amiright?

It was a hotly anticipated episode with Gaga herself Facebooking teasers of the show:

So, the whole thing starts because Mr.Schuster tells the Glee Club that their dancing needs some work, at which point Finn promptly hits, and breaks, Rachel’s nose. The doctor then suggests a vanity “readjustment” to fix her deviated septum.

When she tells the Glee Club that she would like a “slightly more demure nose, like Quinn’s”, this of course starts a whole self-hate/self-love debate. Santana gets real/bitchy, and says this:

Hold up. Can we all just get real here for a second. I hear that Rachel has got a bit of a schnoz, but I wouldn’t know, because like Medusa, I try to avoid eye-contact with her. But can we all stop lying about how there aren’t things we wouldn’t change about ourselves. I mean, I am sure Sam’s been at the dr.’s office and riffled through pamphlets on mouth reduction. I bet Artie has considered getting his legs removed since he doesn’t use them anyways. I am definitely sure that Tina has looked into getting an eye de-slanting.

Mr. Schuster is shocked saying:

Wow. Guys. I am really shocked at what I am hearing here. It goes against everything that Glee club stands for. I am telling you, the thing you would like to most change about yourself, is the most interesting part of you.

To which Mercedes says:

Maybe, but at this school, the thing that makes you different is the thing they use to crush your spirit.

Anyways, you can see where this is going. Obvy, Mr. Schuster decides that Glee club should sing the anthem to acceptance “Born this Way”. Ms. Pillsbury comes as an example to the group, to show how she is accepting of her “thing”, which obviously we all think is OCD, except, well, she wrote something else on her shirt.

Children, I claim my Gingerhood before you today. I was born this way.

Meanwhile Santana is trying to devise a plan to win Brittany which she thinks she could do by being prom queen. But how to get votes? The jock block, she thinks. At that exact moment she sees Dave Karofsky checking out Sam’s ass and realizes he’s gay.

She also realizes that Karofsky is the key to getting Kurt to return to the school and Glee club, and her being loved by everyone. So she confronts Karofsky, and proposes they be each others’ beards and run for prom King and Queen, and convinces him to reach out and apologize to Kurt.

The conversation goes a little like this:

Santana: I saw you checkout out Sam’s ass the other day. You need to really be more careful about your leering.

"I was just seeing what jeans he was wearing." "As if that is any less gay."

Santana tells Karofsky that he is probably going to be a “late in life gay. You’re going to stay in the closet, get married, get drunk to have relations with your wife, have a couple kids, become a state senator or Deacon, and then get caught in the men’s room tapping your foot with some page, and you know what? I accept that about you.”

Santana comes clean about her intentions and her homogayness, but makes clear that she is not “ready to start eating jicama or get a flat top yet either. Maybe in junior college.” Brilliant.

So Karofsky apologizes to the Glee club for having “slushied” them. Can we talk about this? When did “slushing” become a thing? Is that a thing? Do people do that? I digress.

I know I should talk about how he talked about bullying, or something about the plot here, but what a really WANT to talk about, is Santana’s outfit. Because it’s super hot, and I want it.

HOT

So, then the other thing I want to talk about is how much I love Kurt’s dad. I probably love him so much because he is the dad that every gay kid wants. They have this cute kind of tense relationship, but he always does such great things that make me cry, and be super sappy. So when Karofsky and Kurt’s dads meet to talk about Kurt coming back and Karofsky’s apologies, he is super defensive, and really is like the best dad. LOVE. HIM.

But Kurt knows something is up. Kurt tells Karofsky that he doesn’t believe  in outing, which is great. Karofsky tells Kurt that it was Santana’s idea, and then Kurt says something about someone I don’t know, some Latina Eve Herrington? Do you know who that is? He tells Karofsky, “Ok, if you are going to be gay, you must know who that is!” I DON’T KNOW WHO THAT IS!

Anyways, David replies, “Look, I don’t know for sure I am gay, okay. Stop being a broken record.”

Kurt concludes that he will not out Karofsky, and he’ll go along with the plan, but he says that Karofsky must found a PFLAG at the school with him because he doesn’t need to be out, but he needs to be educated. I couldn’t stop smiling. Nobody outs him, and yet they make him not be a total huge homophobic bully.

So Kurt returns to the school, wearing the second best outfit of the episode:

So, but then there was this thing that pissed me off. Blain and the Werblers (I think that is what they are called, but… I am too lazy to look it up), come to sing a farewell song to Kurt. Kurt gets all misty eyed and teary, and Blaine and Kurt look all passionate and lovey, and then you know what DOESN’T happen? THEY DON’T KISS!!! They fucking hug it out. Probably because of this bitch.

WTF? Any normal person would have kissed in that situation OBVYS.

the gays hug it out

Kurt then sings a solo which reminds me of a song from Beauty and the Beast or Pocahontas or something, but it was awesome.

So let’s fast forward to the end part where they actually sing Born this Way.

EXCEPT, first, Brittany and Santana compare their “Born this Way” t-shirts:

This of course shocks Brittany because she thought Santana was going have something a little more homogay.

Santana says: “What? Legend has it that when I came out of my mother, I told the nurse she was fat.”

Brittany says: “Well, I made a different one for you.”

Santana replies: “I’m hispanic.” “Wait, is that supposed to say Lesbian?”

Brittany (confused): “Yah, isn’t that what it says? When you told me all that stuff the other week, it meant so much to me, to see you be so honest.”

Santana: “Yah well don’t get used to it. Don’t think about telling anyone.”

Brittany: “Why not? You’re like the most awesomest girl at the school. Why would you try to hide any of that?”

Santana: “I’m dating Karofsky now.”

Brittany: “It’s gross.”

Santana: “You don’t get a say in who I date anymore!”

Brittany: “Why not? Because I am dating somebody? Because you’re Lebanese and I think I am bi-curious?”

Santana: “No, because I said I love you. You didn’t say you love me back.”

Brittany: “I do love you. Clearly you don’t love you as much as I love you, or you’d put this shirt on and dance with me.”

Sigh. Why can’t they just get it on already?

Anyways, Kurt is kinda scary/awesome/hot in his Born this Way/Monsterness sporting his “Likes Boys” t-shirt.

Santana doesn’t join the group for the performance, but does strangely wear her “Lebanese” t-shirt.

Ok, so the dancing was good, the song sounded great, but so for all the gay talk, guess what? THEY LEFT OUT THE GAY PART OF THE SONG!!

The most important part of the song: “No matter gay, straight or bi, lesbian, transgendered life” was left out of the song. What gives?

UPDATE!! Guess what? You can get your very own “LEBANESE” T-shirt here. $2 from every t-shirt sale will be donated to PFLAG. Awesome! And get 15% off using the promo code “SPRUNG” through Thursday or TODAY ONLY save $3 off all cafepress.com shop orders of $30 with the code “TAPR1130”.

 

 

 



About the Author

Erika
|Executive Editor & Co-Founder| A mostly hippy and always hungry cultural critic, closeted pop-culture lover, and food know-it-all. Half cowgirl, half Ivy leaguer. You will find me writing on the crazy sh*t that happens on my teevee, feminism, philanthropy, religion and politics. I like singing shows, high-waisted skirts, scotch, two-stepping, and all forms of breakfast foods (sweet AND salty).




 
 

 
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2 Comments


  1. I need to get a Lebanese T shirt.


  2. Ty

    I need a ‘I like boys’ tee shirt. :P



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