“Christian Gift + Candy = JesusWeen” ~ Jesus Ween on Facebook
Attention all ye sinners who choose to celebrate Halloween by dressing up in heinously anti-biblical fashion and cavort with equally disgusting individuals while eating dubious amounts of KitKats and drinking ungodly beverages. That goes for you too, children that dress in satanic garb like that Thomas the Train character and who go door-to-door expecting candy with no good word of Jesus to go along with it. JesusWeen is here to help you!
What is JesusWeen you ask? “Every year, the world and its system (our emphasis) have a day set aside (October 31st) to celebrate ungodly images and evil characters while Christians all over the world participate, hide or just stay quiet on Halloween day. Being a day that is widely acceptable to solicit and knock on doors, God inspired us to encourage Christians to use this day as an opportunity to spread the gospel. The days of hiding are over and we choose to take a stand for Jesus. “Evil prevails when good people do nothing”. JesusWeen is expected to become the most effective Christian outreach day ever and that is why we also call it” World Evangelism Day”.”
Who doesn’t want that? The benefits of JesusWeen reach far and wide. According to their website, it is preparing kids for greatness. “Jesus is a loving friend of children. In the Bible he allowed them come to him and taught them in love and received them. No one in the Bible who was attached to God from childhood ever became a failure. Moses, Samuel, David, Solomon, Jeremiah, John and Jesus were men who dedicated themselves to demonstrating the love of God from childhood. All these men became great men who are still spoken of today in our generation. They became great men because they were raised in the path of greatness. They were busy for God from an early age and therefore did not miss their way. Train up a child in the way he should go, when he grows old, he shall not depart from it – (Proverbs 22:6)”
Yes! And there is more! “The children coming out to give the bibles will do it with excitement. They will not feel deprived as they will be coming out like other kids to give the Word to people. They will definitely be received by families as it is just natural not to turn a child down. The children will understand from an early age that it is fun to give the Word.”
Let’s face it, JesusWeen (seriously only Hallo should end in ween – enough said) is another attempt by the far right to rid children of a tradition that has absolutely no malicious intent By guilting parents and children alike into ‘spreading the word of God’ rather than just , I don’t know, letting kids be kids is cruel and uncalled for.
Whether you are Christian or not, Halloween is a time for celebration. In Mexico, they celebrate the dead, and really what is wrong with the dead anyways? We are all going to die eventually except for maybe Dick Clarke and Queen Elizabeth. Halloween is fun, and never let anyone tell you that it isn’t.
In the Headlines:
Daniel Villarreal. Queerty. 15-Year-Old Jamie Huubley Commits Suicide. But was it Bullying or Depression? October 17, 2011.
Dan Avery. Queerty. 6 Fundamentalist Parents Who Horribly Abused Their Gay Kids. October 15, 2011.
Michelle Garcia. The Advocate. Serbian Woman Stabed for LGBT Shirt. October 17, 2011.