Sex + Love

June 23, 2011

Ask Kristi: “Quality Bum-Play Lube Needed?”

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Written by: Kristi
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Dear Kristi,

Can you recommend good lubes for anal, vaginal, toys, etc?



Dear Bum-Player,

That’s a good question, because most people wouldn’t differentiate between those activities and the different lubes you should use. Lots of sexually adventurous and vanilla peeps alike would think that popping by your local Pharmaprix/Shoppers and picking up a plastic bottle of KY (or Astroglide if you’re feeling fancy) would suffice. And really, if all you’re looking for is a little slip in your slide, that probably would. But for those who want to get the best out of their sexperience (ok, I’m only going to use that one once, I swear!) there really are specifically good lubes for different sex acts.

First, some basics. There are a few different types of lube: water-based, silicone and oil. Oil lubes usually include stuff off the kitchen shelf, because they are rarely (if ever) sold in stores any more. That’s because unlike water and silicone lubricants, oil is NOT compatible with latex condoms; it will break down the material and make them fall apart while you’re fucking. Water-based lubes are water soluable and tend to be a bit thicker than silicone lubes, which are thin but not water soluable (and feel a little bit like teflon). If you’re not sure what you’d like, most reputable sex shops will allow you to sample some between your fingers before you buy. Packaging also matters for lubricants. I personally prefer lubes that come in a bottle with a pump dispenser, it’s less messy that way.

Penis/Toy+Vagina sex: Anytime you are using lube on a vagina, you want to ensure that it contains no sugar, and ideally no aspertame (ie – flavoured and coloured lubes are generally going to be a no-no). As the ladies know, your vagina is a party for lots of necessary and helpful bacteria. Unfortunately adding sugar and artificial sweetners can throw that well-balanced vag out of wack and lead to a nasty yeast infection. Ladies who have vaginas that do NOT appreciate glycerin should also avoid lubes with this ingredient. Water-based or silicone-based are fine, it’s really up to you. Most women find that some of the newer water-based lubes are most similar to their own natural lubrication.

Special note for hetero couples trying to conceive the old fashioned way: most lubricants have some spermicidal qualities (not enough to use as a birth control!). If plenty of foreplay isn’t producing the quality natural lubrication you want, talk to your doctor.

Kristi Recommends: Pink Water, Hathor Lubricant Pure and Sliquid Silver

Penis/Toy+Anus sex: when shopping for a lube intended for use during anal penetration it is pretty much the same as vaginal. But you want to ensure that you are getting a lube that will last a while, unless you are okay with pulling out and re-lubing often to ensure anal sex is comfortable. For this reason I would recommend a silicone lubricant for anal (however there are people who prefer water-based. Experiment!). One thing you do have to watch for: NEVER use lube with ‘numbing’ agents for anal. There are lubes made specifically for anal with these agents (like anal-eaze), as well as generic lubes made for men who have difficulties with premature ejaculation. These do NOT mix with anal; pain is your body’s way of telling you when something is wrong, and there is a LOT of damage that a penis or toy can do to your rectum. Stay away from the numbing!

Kristi Recommends: Gun Oil, Pjure Man Extremeglide and Wet Naturals Beautifully Bare. Don’t forget about lube shooters, great for pre-anal prep!

Hand+Vagina OR Anus sex: we already know that lube is great for jerking, both solo and with a friend(s), but it’s also nice for the ladies! A little lube to cushion the clit can make a BIG difference.

Kristi Recommends: Bodyfluid (for the guys) Liquid Silk (for the gals) and Fun Factory Toyfluid (for toys! Warning: contains glycerin)

Oral sex: though I personally prefer my partner’s junk au natural, lots of people prefer flavoured lubes for oral, if only because the standard flavourless lubes taste kind of…nasty. In a bad way. So, after all my ranting about sugar and aspertame, are there any flavoured lubes that don’t contain either? Of course!

Kristi Recommends: Hathor Pure Lubricant, Swede Fruity and Climax Fruit Bomb

So get down to your local sex shop and start sampling!

**Note to our Daily Gaily visitors: As I’m sure you all know, Canada Post is on strike! That means that if you choose to shop online for toys, lubes and other lovely things, ensure that the shop you are buying them from have an alternative delivery plan using UPS, FedEX, Purolator, etc. before you buy!

About the Author

|Sex & Relationships Writer| I am a 20-something straight divorcee with a dirty mind and a loud mouth. I work for a non-profit organization that can appreciate my mad writing and policy development skills despite my outrageous TMI outbursts. I'm a feminist, a mother, a techno-phile, an avid and shameless sex blogger. I'm most often seen having sex or hunched over a computer, writing about sex. Or eating...I like eating.



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  1. Ty

    Sexperience.. please use this again.. haha love it.

  2. Andrea

    Thanks for taking into consideration the bacterial sensitivity of the vag, that’s the first time I see that.
    Good stuff

  3. S

    The advice is good, but women aren’t the only people who have vaginas, and not all women have them.

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