I cannot believe I am awake right now. This is effing stoop.
Ok, we are here at the Burgundy Lion and a bit behind schedule. But I am wearing a white dress and I have a feather in my hair. Just sayin.
The Queen is already arriving – in yellow – and there are so many things to talk about. Her dress matches our cupcakes.
I highly recommend following The Queen on this fake twitter account for commentary. So funny.
We just saw Kate, and the dress looks pretty beautiful. Speculation that it is Alexander McQueen.
We were just debating what a lady-in-waiting is. Do you know? Read here.
Omg, those kids looks so cute.
Ok I officially suck at this. I am too glued to the TV and Tyrone is NOT helping me!
Did you know that Princess Di and Prince Charles only met each other 13 times before they were married? Eeeeek.
The train looks RIDONCULOUSLY long. Kate Middleton got in, and then her Dad, and then the whole train was pulled in over top of him and on his lap. Wow.
Dorothy Snarker saying it how it is.
Ok officially the dress is GORG, and officially is from the house of Alexander McQueen.
That is some intense music. My heart is beatttting. How am I nervous?
My breakfast just arrived and I have crumpets. I have never eaten crumpets. I will let you know how they taste.
Ok Snore. There is a whole lot of churchiness going on here, so I don’t have much to say. But I will say this, the Church of England seems to be taking this opportunity to reinforce its view of marriage with lots of statements about man and wife, and husband and wife, and that whole bit about the purpose of marriage being the repopulation of the earth. Why oh why didn’t they pan to Elton John at the moment?
What do you think? Does all the attention to this wedding mean that we still really care about the tradition of marriage? And what does that mean? GAWD WHAT DOES IT MEAN? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? GAWD just let the gays gay marry already, right?
Guess the number one trending topic worldwide on twitter right now?
My twitter feed right now:
Tyrone and I sipping our coffee in what we think is proper royal fashion. I think it is supposed to only be thumb and forefinger, but this is not fine china. My cup is too damn heavy:
Also, this is my flower and feather in my hair (a gift of the great Miss Quincy). I couldn’t find a proper hat.
They are getting in the carriage. This is serious cinderella material people.
No, but seriously. It ACTUALLY looks like cinderella.
Tyrone is actually clapping.
Tyrone is asking if we can please take a picture of this dude in the ridiculous red pants. Sorry the guy with the red pants with his size stickers still on. Awesome dude.
Some more great tweets. I heart Dorothy Snarker.
There are a lot of interesting hats and tiaras and white gloves here.
Let’s get this kiss over with already.
Check out today’s google doodle:
Ben Mulroney is currently asking Canadians about their expectations regarding the kiss. This kid just said “slurpy”? What? What is a “slurpy” kiss?
I am not sure if the only Canadians attending the wedding are total wanks, or if CTV is just having luck finding the ones who are.
Can someone please remind my waitress that I have asked for coffee three effing times? What must one do?
The bride and groom are on the balcony? KISS. KISS. KISS. KISS.
Those kids are making my ovaries hurt. So cute.
I was too busy writing and missed that nano-second long kiss apparently. I mean, I would be a bit shy about kissing in front of the Queen too.
Can we get a real freakin kiss up in here people?
Ok that was more like it.
I have a new #royalwedding drinking game, but I have a feeling we will all get super intoxicated:
Take a shot every time Prince William blushes. Cute.
The Queen is heading back inside, thinking “bloody fucking noise”. Hmm.. I have a feeling people will have something to say about that.
Ok people. We are signing off. Bedtime!
Leaving on a carriage that’s fit for a queen:
Lady Erika of the plateau: