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March 6, 2012

Internet-Free Nation: 6 + 1 Ways To Procrastinate Without The Internet

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Written by: Nikki
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So if you’ve read my coming of age story you must know by now that there’s a lot of procrastinating involved. What I didn’t mention was that I wrote that post while putting off studying for a midterm that I had the next day.

Anyways I think know I’m the Queen of Procrastination. I don’t know how many of y’all are in school or have dull tasks that you have to get done…but you just don’t want to. I know I have a sh*t ton but I also know I won’t do them till the very last minute. I do this instead…

Here are six + 1 things I do to procrastinate that I feel good about and I suggest you should do too.

WARNING: The following does not involve the Internet, I repeat; it does not involve the Internet


You can totally knit a really long wrap-around scarf for your girlfriend – or boyfriend or sister or friend or even better, for yourself.


I made red velvet cupcakes for the first time last week and thought they were actually quite delicious. The only thing that went wrong was that they didn’t end up red…


Or any kind of physical activity that you just haven’t tried out yet. One that does not involve the bed you guys, I know what you’re thinking. Or maybe I’m the only one with the dirty mind.
But really, I started Zumba which if you don’t know, is latin-american hip-hop. I look like a fool and have no arm-leg coordination but it’s fun! After a whole hour of dancing, I don’t feel so bad about having eaten one too many cupcakes. You men can do it too; there is one dude in our class. Also you have to shower afterwards cause chances are you’ll stink, so you can add that into your procrastination schedule too.

Cut Someone’s Hair

With their permission. I cut my sister’s bangs over the winter break and they turned out all right. I also dyed Teeny’s hair three different colours and that was just awesome too. The more colours, the longer it takes. That took an entire night of potential-studying that just did not happen.


You’ll feel really productive about this one, I cleaned the entire house on the weekend and I live with two other girls… who were not involved in the cleaning process. That took hours. You might stink after cleaning all the things so maybe you should go and shower again


You’ve stepped out fresh & clean from your shower and then realized that your clothes smell repulsive. Can’t have sweaty clothes clinging to your clean self, better put them in the wash before you run out of clothes.

And then there’s the last one…

Call up estranged family members

You haven’t talked to them in months, years maybe. It is now when you desire to know how many children they’ve had since the last time you saw them or whether they went to university and graduated already.  Cause you sincerely do care.

If this works, you will now have had, the most awkward conversation of life and are cringing to the point of resembling Dobby. You don’t want to have to go through another phone call like that again and that might motivate you to do stuff. But you’re tired after that productive day so you just want to sleep. Maybe you can really start working tomorrow… after you knit a little.



About the Author

|Montreal/Guelph Contributor| You'll find me rambling, ranting and raving about everything; from feminism and religion to relationships and fashion. I'm an avid procrastinator and full-time perfectionist. I have an obsession with semi-colons and use them irrationally. I love books, reading stuff on the internet, and writing everything down. Winter makes me cry and I always crave chocolate and the sun.


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  1. Rachelle

    I always find time to clean when something is due…

  2. “…after you knit a little.” :)

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