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March 7, 2012

Waiting For The Revolution: 11 WTF Feminist Items on Etsy

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Written by: Kristi
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Like other formerly misguided and angsty youth in the pre-Twilight days of the 1990’s, I dabbled in Wicca. There’s something funny about Wicca that makes you willing to plunk down your money for literally ANYTHING with a pentacle or pentagram on it. In the early stages, the only theological cred Wicca and other new-agey religions offer are the tokens themselves. Collecting your Wicca stuff is like collecting Pokemon cards, and collecting is demonstrative of your deep, 4-month dedication. Also, there are way more ‘things’ (books, boxes, keychains, chapstick) with Egyptian Ankhs, a Spiral Goddess symbol or a Celtic Triquetra on it than pentacles or pentagrams, which makes them rare, special, and worthy of purchase in any and every form. My collection of pentagram-covered tampon cases and sweatbands were eventually cast aside when my spiritual inclinations and I decided the steering-wheel cover alone said it loud and clear.

This last year of sifting through feminist merchandise has taught me that feminist merch operates much along the same principles; if there is a fist and a venus symbol on it, someone will buy it. Although, at least in my opinion, owning any of these symbols of your deep commitment to equality and revulsion of the patriarchy is more likely to diminish your cred. So do yourself a favor and chuck these under your Susan B. Anthony pillows when your anarchist knitting circle convenes.

1. Drunk Girl stilletto cactus planter Shoes

“Drunk is right”

2. Feminist Riot Grrrl UV Venus

“Owning an ounce of 5 different colours of femo dough does not an artist make”

3. Naughty or Nice tea cups

“Nor does inheriting Grandma’s tea service and a sharpie”

4. Feminist Panties

“Your clothes need more accurate labels”

5. Vagina Dentata Sculpture

“Can’t decide if that little guy is trapped forever, or lives there like a kangaroo joey in its pouch. Whatever the answer, it’s too hot for etsy!”

6. Roadside Debris Hatlet

“I have never read a more accurate title for something on etsy”

7. Boob bag designer tote

“Walk around all day with your boobs on display!”

8. Original Collage – The Gate to Women’s Country

“Is this a cat lady joke?”

9. Pink Kitsch Skateboard

“Now Snooki, in honor of International Women’s Day, can you please make something that sums up everything that the word “woman” means to you?”

10. Pit Pride Patch

“I didn’t know my body hair care method was something to be proud of! Why didn’t anyone tell me?! I-SHAVE-WHEN-I-HAVE-TO-BUT-I’M-TOO-LAZY-TO-DO-IT-WITH-ANY-CONSISTENCY PRIDE!”

11. Spock: Feminist Alternatives

“Spock tells us that the alternative to feminism is exploding, but he seems hesitant.”

About the Author

|Sex & Relationships Writer| I am a 20-something straight divorcee with a dirty mind and a loud mouth. I work for a non-profit organization that can appreciate my mad writing and policy development skills despite my outrageous TMI outbursts. I'm a feminist, a mother, a techno-phile, an avid and shameless sex blogger. I'm most often seen having sex or hunched over a computer, writing about sex. Or eating...I like eating.


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  1. Kristi

    I’d like to make sure everyone’s extra special attention is drawn to #9 – and that there are tiny plastic babies patterned on that skateboard, interrupted by scrabble tiles that spell “C*NT”. You have to get a closer look to see it’s total WTF-ness

  2. Rachelle

    I’m all over the drunk girl stiletto cactus planter.

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