Ever gone to the cottage with douche bags? Or maybe you are planning a trip and don’t know the etiquette of planning a cottage weekend away with 12 of your besties? It is tricky.
As a good portion of The Gaily team heads up north to the cottage for St. Jean weekend, I started thinking about “cottage rules”, aka, ways to get a long in a secluded cottage for three days with no technology or privacy. Here is my totally necessary and snarky advice to planning such a weekend:
Do pack a 50’s style dress or something similar because that would be appropriate and cute. Actually anything gingham, plaid, red, baby blue, sunflower yellow, or wicker is appropriate.
Do share the cost of gas with the person driving. (This is also a don’t, as in: don’t be a douche bag and not help pay for gas.)
Do help with the preparation of meals and the other housework. Everyone else is on vacay too, so get off your ass and flip the burgers. Oh also, take a dish shift.
Do agree on a cost sharing/food sharing plan before hand. If you are in charge of buying supplies for a meal, hot dogs will not suffice when everyone else is buying steaks. This goes the other way though, if everyone else is on a hot dog and PBR budget, this should be clarified before you ask them to cough up for their portion of steaks and bottles of wine.
Do bring your own cigarettes if you know you are a social smoker. The person that brought four packs for the weekend will not appreciate having to drive to town to buy outrageously priced smokes because you kept bumming theirs.
Do take quick showers. There is not a lot of hot water to go around. Also on this topic: you may be at the cottage but it is unnecessary to completely forget hygiene. This is not Into the Wild. Shaving and deodorant are completely acceptable things to pack – and use!
Don’t bring your work, laptop, or homework and expect people to be quiet.
Don’t bring a 12 case of beer for the whole weekend because you “aren’t planning on drinking much” and then proceed to drink everyone else’s booze once you have run out.
Don’t assume it is ok to bring your dog, cat, or horse before talking it over with either your hosts or your short-term housemates.
Don’t hookup with cottage mates that you didn’t originally plan to hook up with. This is uncomfortable, especially if the drunk cottage groping occurs in public spaces or in rooms with paper thin walls.
Don’t buy 14 oz steaks, bacon, and shrimp for grilling and ask the vegetarians to split the cost of all the meals.